The Talon

Sam Fertig
Sam, also known as "Slammin' Sammy" in reference to his radical softball skills, is a writer in the Features section of The Talon. It's his first year. Much like his brother, being from Minnesota, Sam has learned a lot about moose, hipsters, and the science of warm tongue on cold metal. He was, also like his brother, probably a fetus or something. When asked about his likes and dislikes, he responds with a simple, "don't ask me that," as to spare the questioner several minutes of profane rambling, mostly concerned with bears and Republicans.

Sam Fertig, Features Reporter

Jun 04, 2015
A sap’s fables (Story)
Mar 29, 2015
I’m not racist; I’m just bad at satire (Story)
Dec 03, 2014
How to read this article: Step 1 (Story)
Nov 05, 2014
What time is it, anyway? (Story)
Oct 02, 2014
Redskins controversy, South Park-style (Story)
Sep 01, 2014
You could learn a lot from a bear (Story)
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