Tuesday night, at home

I really should be packing my bags. Or at least showering. We’re supposed to leave at… what, 10 pm? It’s already 7 and I’m sitting here playing XCOM and chatting on Whatsapp and Facebook… eh, I can pack in half an hour, no biggie. Flight’s only at 2 am, gives me plenty of time.

Best idea ever.

Tuesday, 10:30 pm, in the car

Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap, I’m sure I forgot something but I don’t know what, I really shouldn’t have left packing for the last minute like I always do, I just know I forgot something, I was rushing everything and my mom was already at the door waiting for me and I probably forgot something and oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap.

Tuesday, 10:40 pm, still in the car

Oh, it’s only one week, who cares if I forgot something. It can’t be that important if I forgot it.

Tuesday, 10:41 pm – you guessed it, in the car

But what if it was my cellphone charger? Or what if I didn’t pack any underwear? Or maybe I left my passport at home, and I’ll miss the flight and everything is going to fall apart and oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap aaaaaahhhhhh.

Tuesday, 11:20 pm, at the Guarulhos airport

Oh cool, we get to choose our seats? Oh, not much choice for the first flight, guess we’re stuck with those two. Now the second flight… the back row! It’s empty! Dude, I am so taking the back row. All the cool kids sit in the back.

Tuesday, 11:22 pm, airport

Okay, so apparently no-one approved of my seating choice… too bad, I already made the choice! Totally worth it.

Wednesday, 1:15 am, airport

A 2 am flight. Worst idea ever.

Wednesday, 2:40 am, skies above São Paulo

All right, so, this flight is seven hours to Charlotte. I should probably get some sleep instead of playing my Game Boy, otherwise I’ll be dead tired the rest of the day… oh my god, they’re showing Frozen. Screw sleep, staying up never bothered me anyway.

Wednesday, 8:30 am, a whole new world (get it?)

My dear flight attendant, it can’t be considered breakfast if I haven’t slept. You see, to break my fast requires – oh all right, just give me the sandwich.

Wednesday, 11:00 am, Charlotte airport, North Carolina

What do you mean, immigration isn’t open yet? It’s almost noon! And then people complain about Brazilians. Americans are so xenophobic, they don’t even give tourists a proper – oooh, free WiFi. Never mind, take as long as you want.

Wednesday, 1:30 pm, boarding another plane

Dude, back row seats. This is going to be so awesome. No one kicking my seat, bathrooms right there, window seat, first… God, what is that noise?

Wednesday, 4:30 pm, Boston International Airport

See, Mom, I told you we should’ve stopped at that Starbucks before picking up our bags, now we can’t go back to the terminal; who knows when we’ll – wait, is that another Starbucks? Seriously? We can’t have walked more than a couple hundred meters.

Wednesday, 7:08 pm, Providence, Rhode Island

All right, I think I’ve just about run out of “Providence is so tiny” jokes. Right as we got here, too. Now, let’s see, our hotel is on the other side of town, so… that should take us about a minute to get there.

Wednesday, 7:42 pm, hotel room

What’s that, Mom? A bottle of water? Of course I’d be happy to go down to the lobby and buy one for you! Because I’m such a good son! Totally not because there was a team of college girls in sports jackets checking in right behind us!

Wednesday, 7:43 pm, elevator

All right, so there’s a vending machine right across the lobby. I can casually look their way as I get to it. Once there, I’ll be out of sight, but I’ll be able to hear when they head to the elevator, so I just have to time things right.

Wednesday, 7:46 pm, lobby

Damn, the elevator was just full. Now I’m stuck here with their coaches… and they stopped at Floor Three. Aw, I’m on the fourth. Anyways, other elevator’s here, time to go. Wait, they’ve already pressed the fourth floor button? The hot athletic softball girls are one floor below me, but their middle-aged, male coaches are on my floor?  Well played, universe. Well played. You just wait.