Before the first day of school, phones are taken out by parents. Before a concert starts, hundreds of phones rise. Before the sunset fades, it is photographed. Why have we developed an instinct to preserve every moment experienced before it disappears? It could have been how long we have lived in this constant fear of letting meaningful memories simply happen and then letting them fade away.
Before the creation of cameras and the progression of technology, we painted self-portraits, captured a moment through drawings, wrote in journals, and built historical structures, where we relied on our skills to preserve moments that happened in the past. The difference in how we capture and preserve moments of the present day is orchestrated through digital archives of our everyday lives: photos, videos, posts, and messages. Even when we recognize this impulse, an unconscious instinct persists: the desire to leave behind proof that we existed in this exact moment in time and particular place. As technology advances, our ability to document personal experiences grows along it. Moments that once existed in our minds can now be forever stored online and digital archives. This made us dependent with just a tap on a screen. The simpler it becomes to freeze a moment, a smile, or a place in time, the more difficult it appears to let them go. The inability to move away from the reliance of technology has given us an unparalleled capacity for memory, though it has raised our fear of forgetting or being forgotten.
Are we documenting our lives, or are we forgetting to live them? I have sat in silence with this thought recently, especially after digesting the fact that I am transitioning into a senior. It seems like each year goes by faster, yet somehow in previous years I moved on to the next without really realizing how fast I passed through high school. I believe it was from being focused on capturing moments during those years that I forgot I may have been distancing myself from that experience instead. At the same time, perhaps this fear of losing meaningful moments comes with a greater unease with finitude. The years that go by changes with friendships, places, and stages of life. Although we view this as something sad, it could be the reason for giving all our experiences their value. A sunset would not be as breathtaking as it was before if it lasted forever. Winning a race every time would slowly take away the feeling of adrenaline, which makes success worth it. Listening to a favorite song over and over would start to sound irritating to the ear. The moments that are most meaningful and the things we cherish are exactly meant for us to look back to because we live through them once.
It forms a paradox: the more I tried to preserve moments before they disappeared, I may have overlooked the very thing that gave them meaning. Perhaps that is the reason why it has only clicked to me that I will soon be living the last year of high school.
